Everyone in my family is on a different diet!

Everyone in my household is on a different diet. What is a mother to do? I've been eating high protein while my husband is on low fat. My oldest son is on a fast-food, or burn everything to a crisp, diet. My youngest son is on 'I can't eat anything because I'm in love' meal plan, and my daughter will eat anything sweet as long as it is not sweet potatoes.

Last night I served pot roast. I burned the bottom for my oldest son (I think he read somewhere that Elvis liked his food extremely well done). I ate only the meat, my husband finished off the potatoes and carrots. My youngest son ate three bites and my daughter ate all the dessert.

I may have lost ten pounds in the last two months but I've also lost my popularity in the kitchen. When I set the food out, my family starts to groan. 'Not that again. Didn't you serve that same dish in February 1987?'

My family thinks God created turkeys only for Thanksgiving and pigs for Christmas hams. The only way they like eggs is when they're dyed bright colors and have candy attached. Oddly, my children don't want to wait until Halloween to have candy.

The worst part is trying to get everyone together for meal times. The kids will eat on the stairways, in the garage, even in the bathroom, but they wouldn't dream of sitting down at the dining room table together. They'd rather eat poison! If I really want to make them happy, I just pick up the phone and order pizza delivered. Suddenly their appetites increase and for a few minutes there is peace in the kitchen.