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Carol Perkins: The seven foot tall chainsaw sculpted wizard
What will the neighbors think of her friend with the seven foot chainsaw wizard in the front yard? Carol wonders, while pondering a seven foot chainsaw sculpted John Denver for herself.
Next earlier Carol Perkins column: Carol Perkins: Just winging it
By Carol Perkins
When my good friend (whose name I will withhold for fear someone might question her sanity) sent me a picture of her seven -foot wooden statue of a wizard, I didn't know what to say. "Oh, what a lovely piece of yard art?" I couldn't bring myself to lie. She didn't wait for me to comment; she needed to explain, "You know what a Harry Potter fan I am." Yes, I knew. Probably the only books she's read in the last ten years have been those (a self-proclaimed none reader that she is). My only question was, "Where did you find such a piece?" I wanted to ask if it was left along the roadside.
"We were at a craft fair and someone was making statues with a chainsaw and chisel and I put in my order." She was so proud of this wizard, I had to fake my disbelief that she paid for such a thing.
"How did you get it home?" I pictured it tied down in the truck of her car with the head hanging out, puzzling those passing her. A neighbor with a truck and muscles helped her haul it home. She went on to say that in getting it off the back of the truck, her helper fell off the back and sprained her ankle. I pondered about this wizard and its powers! What will she do with this more than average ugly piece of carved wood holding a crystal ball?
"If you want to make some extra money, put a sign around its neck and charge people $5 to rub its head." I could visualize cars lined up in the subdivision.
Wooden carvings are popular in certain places: Alaska outside pubs there will be Eagles or Bears. Native American Indian operated businesses such as those once found at the Cherokee Park in the Smokey Mountains always had a wooden Indian beside their stores, and most tourists took at least one picture of their children in front of it. (Oh, that is so politically incorrect today! Wonder if they are still there?) Go to any wilderness retreat and wooden lifelike creatures greet you. But in a subdivision? What will the neighbors' think? I know what they'll think; she likes wizards.
Guy recently asked me what I wanted for my birthday. "Could I please have a seven-foot wooden statue of John Denver?" Sure. Find out where she got hers and I'm "on it." I doubt our children would fight over it when I'm gone!
This story was posted on 2018-08-23 16:37:37
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