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Happy Tail - Precious, the precosish cat

Labelled with a gender questionable name, boy cat Precious instantly adoped his human - he was Keith's cat - and he provided non-stop entertainment with his mischief
Next previous Happy Tail: It's Raining Cats and Dogs

By Peg Schaeffer

When we lived in CT we had a cat named Dweezette. Dweezette had a litter of kittens and two of the girls who rode at the barn, Olivia and Tessa, wanted to name them. Tessa named one of the male kittens "Precious". Not a very manly name but I told her she could name the kittens so I couldn't go back on my word.

Precious had a knack or getting into trouble

Right from the beginning Precious had a knack for getting into more trouble than the rest of the kittens. I guess it was "A Boy Named Sue" syndrome. He wanted to show us he wasn't a sissy cat.

He picked Keith out as his person from the beginning. As the saying goes "Dogs have owners, cats have staff." When we moved to KY Precious rode in the truck with Keith. The others cats howled and fussed the whole trip but Precious looked at it as a new adventure.

Settling into Kentucky was no trouble for Precious

He settled into life in KY without a problem. He was always bringing us back mice and moles that he had caught letting us know he was on the job.

Once a week I would load my horse into our gooseneck trailer and take her to Versailles for my riding lesson. It was a two hour drive. One week when I got to Ballyhigh and I opened the front of the dressing room to get my saddle there was Precious, sitting in the gooseneck on the bed. He gave me a look as if to say "that was a pretty long ride" and calmly got out of the trailer to have a look around.

He loved to ride, up front, in the cab of the truck

He wandered around the stable and went to sleep under the truck while I rode. On the way back he got to ride in the cab of the truck. You'd think this was something he did every day.

One day when Keith was gone transporting horses I headed off to Day & Day for grain. Of course I wait until we're out of grain and I wait until the last minute. It was close to closing time. I hadn't gone far when I saw a dead cat in the road. It was Precious and he'd been run over more than once. I picked up his flattened body and put it in the back of the truck. I didn't have time to take him home before I went to get grain. So when I got to Day & Day I told Julie there was a dead cat in the bed of the truck. I explained that Keith was on the road and this was his cat. I was in tears as I told her how broken hearted he would be that his favorite cat was dead. Ray Brock was standing behind Julie and I swear there were tears in his eyes.

A proper burial

When I got home I buried Precious in the garden. I put a flat stone over his grave and put the sun dial on it. Then I went in the house to wait for Keith's call. I debated as to whether or not to tell him when he called or should I wait until he got home. I didn't want to ruin his trip.

I went to put something in the refrigerator and there was Precious sitting at the top of the cellar stairs. I got chills up and down my spine. All I could think of was Stephen King's "Pet Semetary". Precious just gave me the LOOK and jumped on the counter to eat his supper.

When Keith called that night I told him how I thought it was Precious in the road and was so worried how to tell him. Keith was nonplussed. He said "yeah, I saw the cat in the road and knew it wasn't him 'cause he was still in bed with you when I left."

The next time I went to Day & Day I told them my story. Ray said he wanted to ask me how Keith was after his cat died but was afraid to ask. By the time I finished my story Ray did have tears in his eyes - he was laughing so hard he couldn't stop them.

Neighbors already have their doubts about 'the crazy dog lady'

I wonder what my neighbors thought when they saw me scraping this dead cat off the road. They already have their doubts about the crazy dog lady. And here I am not only picking up stray dogs but now dead cats.

Precious was with us for a while but one day when he went hunting he never came back. I always think of him when I'm in the garden and see the sun dial. Although it's not him the "Precious Clone" had a proper burial.

How To Give a Cat a Pill
  1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
  2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
  3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
  4. Take a new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
  5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
  6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
  7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
  8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
  9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
  10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
  11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
  12. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
  13. Tie the little darling's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
  14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
  15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill

  1. Wrap it in bacon.
  2. Toss it in the air.
Home, home on the range. This is Precious perched on the hood of the range.
Peg Schaeffer, Sugarfoot Farm Rescue, 860 Sparksville Road, Columbia, KY 42728 Telephone: home 270-378-4521 or cell 270-634-4675 email:

This story was posted on 2014-07-27 05:04:42
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Happy Tail: Precious on HIS perch

2014-07-27 - Sugarfoot Farm Rescue, 860 Sparksville Road, Columbia, KY - Photo by Peg Schaeffer. Home, home on the range. This is Precious perched on the hood of the range. - PEG SCHAEFFER
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