As I was walking down the street, one dark and dreary day,
I came upon a billboard, and much to my dismay,
The sign was torn and tattered, from the storm the night before;
The wind and rain had done its job, and this is what I saw:

Come smoke a Coca-Cola, drink ketchup cigarettes.
See Lillian Russell rassle with a box of oysterettes.
The BVD's the best hotel the charge is half a dime.
Overcoats are selling now, a little out of time.

So, take your next vacation in a brand new Frigidaire;
Learn to play piano in your winter underwear;
Doctors say that babies should smoke until they're tha-ree;
And people over sixty-five should bathe in Lipton tea!