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Tommy Druen: Holes in the water Previous Column: Leadership Kentucky By Tommy Druen When you embark on a 16-hour road trip with someone, you accept certain risks. What if your musical tastes clash? What if your pit stop schedules don't align? And, if you're traveling with my friend Dustin, what if you question every belief you've ever held? Dustin is the kind of friend everyone needs--like me, he can converse with a fencepost about anything. This makes trips to baseball fields seem shorter for us and, for our wives, provides respite from being said fenceposts. Our friendship is strong enough to venture into those so-called forbidden territories like politics and religion. Dustin, however, holds a doctorate in philosophy, which means sooner or later, he's citing Origen, Pythagoras, and Plato. Meanwhile, I'm left feeling like the kid who can identify which paste tastes best. That said, Dustin has never encountered one philosopher under whose guidance I studied extensively: Tim McMurtrey. Known to most as "Mac," or "Coach Mac" if you were within earshot, he wore many hats in our school system. During my high school years, he coached both the basketball and golf teams, and I had the good fortune--depending on the day--to play on both for all four years. Coach Mac had a unique way with words. Some of his wisdom was straightforward: "Druen, don't ever dribble again." Others were quasi-inspirational: "There are over a billion Chinese people who don't give a rat's behind what you all do tonight." And then there were the grammatically head-scratchers: "Play to win, not not to lose." But the one saying that stuck with me through the years came out whenever someone began feeling too self-important or threatened to take their so-called talents elsewhere. Coach Mac would say, "If you want to know how important you are, fill a glass with water, stick your finger in, and then pull it out. As long as that hole stays, that's how long you'll be missed." It's a humorous line, but it's steeped in truth. And it applies to nearly every role in life. Whether you're an athlete or an actor, a politician or a painter, your contributions--while valuable--are rarely irreplaceable. That's not to diminish personal achievement; it's simply to remind us that few accomplishments are truly unique. Pride made the list of the seven deadly sins for good reason. When we start believing we're more important than others or that our actions carry more weight, that's when things unravel. It's fine to be proud of your work, but--channeling Coach Mac here--don't let being proud turn into pride. I recently watched an old interview where a police officer was teased for eating a donut. His response was brilliant: "There are only six people in the world who care about your weight--and those are your pallbearers." The same could be said for the roles we play in society. Run for office. Climb the corporate ladder. Treasure your trophies and accolades. But at the end of the day, recognize that you're likely the only one who truly cares. When you're gone, the hole in the water doesn't linger. That said, it's entirely possible to leave a lasting impact--one that reverberates far beyond your immediate actions. Start by showing up for your family, not just physically but emotionally. Be present during the moments that matter, whether it's a simple dinner conversation, a milestone celebration, or a time of hardship. That foundation can positively impact generations. Similarly, support your friends in ways that go beyond the surface. Listen with intention, celebrate their victories as if they were your own, and stand by them in their struggles. Beyond personal relationships, work to build community by engaging with those around you. This doesn't have to mean grand gestures; it can be as simple as attending local events, volunteering for a cause you believe in, or lending your skills to help a neighbor in need. Foster connections by finding common ground, even with those whose perspectives differ from your own. Ultimately, it's these acts--of showing up, supporting, and connecting--that leave a legacy. They matter not just in the here and now but in shaping a world we want to endure long after we're gone. As Reverend Billy Graham put it: "The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but rather a legacy of character." The sooner we embrace the fleeting nature of our "holes in the water" and set aside our egos, the more likely we are to accomplish something truly worth remembering. Tommy Druen is a native of Metcalfe County, with roots in Adair County going back to the 18th century. He presently lives in Georgetown, Kentucky and can be reached at tommydruen@gmail.com. This story was posted on 2025-01-02 07:49:09
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