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Carol Perkins: Hip Hop

Previous Column: Invisible Customers

By Carol Perkins

I'm lying on a table that I don't remember getting on. I remember minutes before, I was leaning over another table and having a spinal injection. I asked the nurses around me about the table next to me. "Who is getting on that little table with the footrests?"

One replied, "You are." I was afraid I would fall off. One guy assured me that much, much larger people had laid on this Hana table. I had never seen an operating room because, by the time I usually got there, I was out cold.

Some time in between dreamland and coming to, I heard a pounding like a rubber hammer against a tire. I wasn't feeling any pain and I couldn't ask, but I assumed that hammer was pounding my hip. Later, when I mentioned it to my recovery nurse, she laughed. "Did you hear that?" She was surprised. I don't know what the doctor was hammering, but it had to be something about my hip.

I vowed I was not going to have it done for at least a year, but I reached the point where I wasn't almost crawling.


Being reassured by friends and the doctor that hip surgery was not as bad as the knee replacement, I said, "Let's do it!" The surgery took about an hour, and I was home before dark. Can't beat that!

"Do exactly what you're supposed to do," said the nurse. "No cane; not until you are released. You must use the walker." As I was coming out of the building, I realized why. With pain meds taking me to La-La Land, I needed something to steady me.

For a while, I talked out of my head. Before heading home, I wanted a lemonade from Sonic. Guy had eaten in the cafeteria not an hour before, so when I said, "You want something to eat?" he reminded me he told me about eating. "I don't remember that."

I do remember the recovery nurses talking about wallpaper. I also remember one of the nurses announcing that the lady in pod six tested positive for Covid. I was glad not to hear "Code Blue." I realize from my experience that nurses and doctors may think you are totally "out" but you may not be. You may be hearing their conversations, but are unable to respond. That could be the case for those in a coma.

Overall, the hip replacement has been a hundred times better than the knee. I can't help but wonder what part of me will need replacing next? Getting "older" is a bugger.


You can contact Carol at carolperkins06@gmail.com.


This story was posted on 2022-02-10 11:08:58
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