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Carol Perkins: The Butter Bean Episode

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By Carol Perkins

Nobody enjoys food the way Guy (my husband) does. When working, he doesn't have to look at the clock to know it is time to find a place to eat. He has traveled for his work all our married life, so he knows the best places in each city from here to Johnson City to Birmingham to Memphis. His favorite place is in Huntsville at a place called "Rose's." He even brought home a t-shirt.

He values mealtime. Because he eats out so much, I cook more often than I want. If I had my way, I'd never cook another meal, but being the good wife that I am and knowing how much eating means to him, I try to accommodate. After all, he has had an abundance of accommodating to do since 1967.

All of this brings me to what I am calling "The Butter Bean Episode," starring Guy Perkins.

In my Insta-Pot, I often cook a variety of different dried beans: pinto beans, soup beans, and brown butter beans (or tan). The night of the bean episode I checked when the steam died down to see if the beans had any soup in them because the last time, they were too dry for Guy. (I like them dry.) They were a bit too dry again, so I added a glass of water and cooked a few minutes longer. When I took the lid off, a little liquid was floating in the bottom, so I prepare each of us a plate. I scooped up the beans with a spoon that allowed the liquid to fall through. How dumb was I?

With a full meal in front of him, Guy looked over and said as he poked in the beans, "You know I think you're a wonderful cook, but I like my beans with juice." Really? I looked at him sideways. "Well, I thought you'd want to know for future reference." I sat there and ate my dried beans.

He continued, "Maybe you just add some water next time?" He felt the heat rising when I spoke. "I can add lots of water---right over your head. Don't you know never to insult a cook!" Then I explained how I knew what he would say, and I had tried to make them soupy, and if he wanted soup, he could march right over to the pot and dip some out with a spoon. I guess he wondered why I hadn't done that.

When we finished laughing at how ridiculous this conversation was, I thought about how lucky we were to be sitting across the table from each other, both in fairly good health, with our own teeth, knowing each other's name, finishing each other's sentences, and how lucky to have nothing major to complain about except dried, mushy beans.

Follow Susan and Carol-Unscripted on 99.1 the Hoss in Edmonton on Tuesdays from 10amCT to 11amCT and replay on Sundays from 4pmCT to 5pmCT. Listen to Carol's podcast at for entertaining stories and a replay of Susan and Carol-Unscripted.

This story was posted on 2020-02-28 05:33:55
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